- operator: 911, please hold.
- me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
- murderer: ok
- School: We don't allow bullying if you bully we will fuck you up
- Student: I got bullied.
- School: The fuck do you want us to do about it?
my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”
i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone
Your bank flagging your credit card for suspicious activity when you try to buy textbooks. TFM.